FINAL LAP

 "Live like a candle which burns itself but gives light to others." Anonymous

This previous month of September has been quite surreal for me. Fortunately, it wasn't a waste as I also learnt a few things. Albeit looking back I can identify a few lessons I would have loved to skip. 

 One specific occurrence that has shaped me has been the death of a former senior colleague. To many she was a friend, a confidant to her family she was a mother, to her spouse, she was a wife and to me, she was a mentor. She was the personification of charisma.  It wasn't because of the words she said but because even in being silent around her I would still learn. Looking back I am grateful that I met her and even more glad to have learnt many things while being in her presence. It is sad that I write this posthumously but it is also so beautiful that I can recall many great lessons and today I chose to share two among the many.

1. She taught me transformational leadership

 As John C Maxwell says, leaders are meant to help others become the people God created them to be and this was her everyday life. A few years back, I had an epiphany about what I wanted to evolve into. Armed with this idea  I approached her, for about thirty minutes she listened as I rambled on quite incoherently, to be honest. I can admit this now but at the end of it, she had accepted my request to shadow her staff in the intensive care department. I needed to learn a few of the basic skills before considering placing my request to switch areas of clinical practice. She quickly highlighted my strengths as exhibited in our previous interactions and linked me to personnel within the team that she considered would be a great asset to me. That conversation and subsequent interactions reinforced my confidence in the acquisition of new skill sets. Well, several months later despite my request being somewhat dismissed and I failing the interview things finally worked out and because of her I followed through on what I had set out on learning.

2. She epitomized being graceful

About 5 years ago, I was writing a paper on Chemotherapeutics and that led me to visit the Chemotherapy unit in which she was actively involved. Observing her made me understand the concept of being graceful because Chemotherapy units are one of those places that need people who have a certain Je ne sai quois about them. On my first visit, the department was quite busy so I just waved her a quick hello and took a seat waiting to get an opportunity to have a brief meeting. From where I was seated I saw patients light up when she attended to them as if on cue to a silent instrumental she met each patient where they were both physically and emotionally. Her zen energy was almost palpable and at that moment I understood why her patients were so much at ease. When a patient was in low moods she pulled a seat and just engaged in a calm conversation with them and by the time they were done you could see the patient's eyes light up. It appeared like with each conversation she rekindled something new within them.

During her hospitalization,  I could not muster the courage to see her, it was traumatic for me to envision her in so much discomfort and despite working in an area where this occurred often she was my kryptonite.  Anyway, through the support of a colleague, I finally managed to spend some time with her. I am glad I did because in that brief encounter I was just in awe of how amidst the ongoing events she tried taking things in stride. Key word being tried, she tried doing her best even when her body was failing. She never even despite the varied emotions coursing through her, let it out on anyone and to me, that spoke volumes. 

In summary, for anyone who is waiting for a time to come, for them to start living their best life may you always remember that "Life is short, fragile and does not wait for anyone. There will never be a perfect time to pursue your dreams and goals other than right now" ~ Rachael Bermingham