BE KIND

In a world where you can be anything be kind.

So are you aware of the little things you do? I think we should as it directly affects the people around you. For instance:

The housekeeper

How often do you pay them on time? Do you know their story? Have you ever taken the time to try and know them? With the rising cost of living how do you think they survive with the little we give them. So we pay them 4000ksh and expect them to work wholeheartedly. If it ain't that you are fortunate to be where you it could be you who is in their shoes . Most of them also wish for the same but only circumstances are different. How can you make their life easier? Those clothes you want to toss out ask if they need them. You really may not understand how people are struggling to meet their basic needs.

The street children

Why are they on the streets. Yes , their environment may have nurtured them to be rough and foul-mouthed but can you imagine not knowing where your next meal is coming from. Try this as you proceed to the supermarket and you get someone asking for food that 150ksh you would have used to by gum get them a packet of milk and a loaf of bread and give them. It maybe the best thing someone has done for them in a long time.

That person who seems to not fit into your group

This may be the oldest person in your class, that person trying to lose a huge chunk of weight, the new colleague etc. The mere fact they stand out already is nerve-wrecking. Imagine yourself in all those anxiety-inducing situations and how that one person who was kind to you made things easier.

Never forget there is beauty in being kind.

EXCESS WEIGHT

Sometimes the weight you need to lose is not on your body.

So, what are your annoying habits? Do they hinder you from living a full life? Is there something you can do about them? I am learning that I have quite a few. I'm trying to work on the before this year comes to a close. Here is what I am currently struggling with.

1. Being selfish

Are you like me and you like having your way. It is important to realize its not always about you.

Nothing is as hard to deal as with your ego. It is a humbling process. Fortunately, my friends are holding me accountable.

 2. Failing to communicate effectively

I react most times instead of effectively communicating. Effective communication is the exchange of appropriate information through writing, speaking or using another form of medium. My first choice of communication is through writing and with this I have made great strides and great errors. I am currently learning that it is not everything thought that should be communicated. However, time will tell. Words said in the heat of the moment can not be taken back. No matter how frequently you apologize there ain't no coming back from it. It is better to just keep quiet and really think if what is to be said is worth it. Revisit the issue at a better time and discuss it diplomatically. Be open to new suggestions and learn from the other party.

3.Talking to much

I'm shy but once I get comfortable I  can talk a lot. Sometimes silence is important. Respect that. Actions speak louder than words.

4. Worrying too much

This has resulted in me missing out on enjoying some really special thoughtful gestures. The bad thing about it is no one can teach you how not to worry. I shared this struggle with my mum recently as I realized its now a huge problem for me.

Firstly, I'm going back to the roots of my Christian faith which include

• Involving God in all I do and to stop relying on my own understanding of things.
• Play my role
• Allowing God to take charge.

Secondly, I will stop comparing my journey in life with others. Everything happens in its own time and no two peoples journey is the same. I choose to embrace my journey and watch it flourish. This is going to be very intentional. Dear friend hold me accountable.

You are what you consistently do, say and think. Time to adopt better habits.

SELF INTROSPECTION

Would you wanna be associated with you?

Do you ever conduct a self-evaluation on a regular? Genuinely I have never conducted one. Why? I don't know. I am learning that an honest self-evaluation will ensure that I can see myself more clearly and it will help me identify my strengths and my demons hence allowing me to improve myself. For best results I am learning it should be brutal as this is the only way to build the best version of myself. How can one do it? It is still very new for me so I am still learning and below is what I have found out.

1. Feedback. Be quick to listen and slow to react or respond

When something gets repeated to you please pay attention. Dig deeper, make intentional decisions to act on the root of the problem. I had to read and re-read this to comprehend it is so sad but true "@Ebonygold1645 tweeted yesterday "Apologies are pointless if you continue to make the same mistakes. If you say sorry for something, make an effort to get to the root of the problem that caused you to apologize and fix it."

Ask yourself what is being communicated here and why. How better would you handle the same situation. You ain't perfect no one is. 

2. Read self-developmental books

I think because I was so used to be in my own cocoon I thought I had figured it out, unfortunately, it turns out it was a false perception and I have to undergo a lot of growth mentally. I'm not trying to justify my ignorance on my lack of basic skills I'm just so shocked that it has taken me so long to learn that. Please share any book recommendations. I will also do my part and keep looking for some.

3. Online resources

From sometime this year when an issue on my pessimism was brought up, I subscribed to action to happiness.org. It is a forum that provides activities one can perform daily to enhance one's mental wellness. This is because I discovered one's words are a reflection of one's headspace and I want to be positive. I have so much to do on myself but I will achieve that somehow. You may also subscribe by following the link  https://www.actionforhappiness.org/.

4. Respect peoples emotions and give them time

Why are you seeking to be forgiven are you worth being forgiven. giving people time to decide if they still need you in their life is an acquired skill. I have few friends and so this is a skill I'm learning that I must cultivate. I am learning we are all very different and sometimes the biggest form of justice you can do for someone is to give them time to process and they shall communicate once ready: if they are ever ready so from today I am practicing this. Well, I'm starting to do so from now.

As I continue on this journey my hope is to finally get to a point where I can view my self through the clear prism of candid introspection and be happy with the person I have become.