DIVERSITY

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Derek Bok.

Earlier today I was in a public service vehicle heading home, suddenly, I heard the driver making fun of a guy crossing the road. The guy was of very short stature than most, may have been at most 3 feet and something which in essence is an extreme case of a condition termed as Dwarfism. I'm sure you may recall hearing of this word before. Maybe in a Biology genetic class? Or from a movie? However, if you are hearing it from the first time here's a piece of brief information about it.

Dwarfism is a condition characterized by short stature of four feet or less.. It's broadly categorized into two ie proportionate and disproportionate dwarfism. The most common causes are related to genetics ie chromosomal abnormalities. Other causes may be due to hormonal inadequacies and at times the cause isn't very clear. I will not bother you with too many details but in your own time, you can read about it. If you are not in the medical field kindly follow the link https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/dwarfism.html. It is a reputable site with information that one can easily comprehend. I am sure you will thank me later.



So back to the driver, let us call him Mr X. His actions got me thinking; Are we aware of our actions towards other people? Is it a case of superiority complex that we treat others like lesser human beings for being different? Do we ever take the time to actually think through the words in our mind before we utter them? What do these words communicate about ourselves? Once we truly understand this, it then shall form a basis for all our humane activities for humanity is not just about people collectively, but it is about understanding the kind actions towards other people.


Day in day out we interact with people from all walks of life which is a very interesting phenomenon. Not so long ago diversity was a thing we often used to hear of and not really visualize. (At this point I am hoping my generation is not just restricted to Millenials). Diversity may be in the form of different religions, races, levels of economic empowerment, sexual orientation etc. With so many things being different around us, it, therefore, generates a need for us to be conscious of our words and actions towards each other.



Over 60years ago an American psychologist by the name Abraham Maslow stated that, for an individual to grow, some needs have to be met. He then generated a five-tier need pyramid and among them was love and belonging. In love and belonging tier, he deduced that for one to attain it one must feel like they belong. A lot more data has been generated by different psychologists and they all point towards the same conclusion "how we treat each other is of great importance."

How then can we improve ourselves so as to make coexistence easier despite our differences?


1. Desire to change the narrative

For us to be more tolerant of each other's differences, we first must be willing to recognize that first, we are different,  then secondly, be willing to put in the work for peaceful coexistence.


2..Nature versus nurture

To elucidate nature are our inherent behaviours while nurture are learned behaviours. For any individual who is in a position to influence change on a younger person should keep this theory in mind. Kindly follow the link for more information https://www.simplypsychology.org/naturevsnurture.html

3. Guard your mouth

Not every word that is thought should be said. A prolific Ghanaian author called Ernest Yeboah once said "We fail to say the right words because we choose to say the wrong words! We choose to say the wrong words because we fail to think about the right words!”
Always ask yourself, " Is what I am about to say enriching to this conversation or not" because most times we are so quick to speak when exploring issues from a very ignorant perspective.

4. Educate yourself

Take the time to understand things first. Study extensively different things so as not to propagate false ideologies and concepts. I'm vexed every time one makes jokes or comments on people derive their pleasure in growing long beards. Personally, I find ignorant when people make Jihhadist jokes. Despite the recipient laughing it off most times. It is a very offensive thing to say no matter how lightly we take it. Please watch the following video for more information on how to avoid selective religious bias https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EF5BHcOcNJA . Educate yourself on simple practices among different cultures for instance like which hand to use during communal meals because in some use of the left hand is considered offensive.

5. We are all equal


No matter where we come from, blood flows in our veins. Being different doesn't make one more valuable than the other. The moment we believe we are, then we forget that we survive by chance for tomorrow is never guaranteed.

In conclusion, “Let us know our differences! Let us understand our differences! Let us know and understand that we are all different people with different differences! We all have different differences that are not all that different! Understanding is the matter! When we get to know and understand our differences well, we shall least spit on each other just because of our differences!”
 Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

THE PENDULUM SWINGS

“Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many,  not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” Charles Dickens.

Do you know by default we are designed to always think of the negative events in our lives? It takes practice to change this mentality. Positive thinking is a conscious decision that becomes ingrained in us through consistent behavior. Think of all things that stood out for you this year. What's the first thing that pops into your mind? Write down the thought, then decide on its nature. Is it a positive event or negative event?




It is exactly twenty-one days to the end of this year and it is a wonderful time to reflect on our experiences. For me, this year has been quite a roller coaster. For the first time in a long time, I had to face me. The real me, not the facade. I literally had to strip down mentally and figure out how to rebuild myself. Honestly, now, I am so grateful I had the opportunity to experience all that. I have learnt so many truths this year than I have in the past several years. I choose to share some of my positive lessons, for it is through reflection that we create meaning to events whilst using the opportunities as learning tools.

1. It's not always about you

 In our daily interactions take time to stop addressing problems from a very self-centered perspective. Seek to empathize first and find out if the other party is well enough to meet you in your interactions halfway. Wondering how this is applicable? Here is a  basic example: Ever texted a partner/ friend or work colleague who replied an hour later and you went off on them? Did you maybe  consider they may have been experiencing a terrible day? Their day may have been so bad that it slipped their mind to reply and hence they actually were not being dismissive of you in the first place.
It's great to recognize that as individuals we are important but sometimes there are bigger fish to fry than us.


2. Work on yourself first

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3-5. This bible verse encompasses so much truth in it that further explanation may water it down.

3. Honesty is key
It's important to invest in having good people around you. Seek to find people who keep you grounded. These are the type of individuals who will critic your words and deeds in a firm but constructive manner. Warren Buffet once summed this up by saying “Honesty is a very expensive gift, Don't expect it from cheap people.”

4. Celebrate thyself
You will never be everyone's cup of tea and therefore not all will appreciate your achievements. Seek to appreciate yourself first. Choose to celebrate your personal gains, wins, achievements no matter how small. Once you recognize the progress you are gradually making, it shall continue to provide you with the intrinsic motivation needed to keep working on your goals.

5. Change begins with you

From the start of the year I had generated a list of things I wished would be different, however upon further exploring the same, I learned one simple thing“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi. Other people will gradually emulate you once you establish consistency.

As the year comes to a close seek to recognize that " There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S Lewis.

NOBLE TRUTHS

“You must decide if you are going to rob the world or bless it with the rich, valuable, potent, untapped resources locked away within you.” Myles Munroe.

Do you ever sit down and take stock of your life. I have been for the past year or so. I am slowly learning how invaluable this is and why we need to take it up more often. Recently, I had been thinking of a friend of mine her name was Judy. I  had mentioned her in a previous blogpost titled Be Easy https://lilylovelong.blogspot.com/2019/11/be-easy.html.Its now been almost three years but every so often she always crosses my mind. To some, that may seem like a daunting affair but luckily my random thoughts of her always seem to prompt the making of better life choices or rather the need for a better life choice. Not so long ago she finally got me thinking: What kind of legacy do I wish to leave behind when am gone?




Do you ever think about the legacy you will leave behind. No! I do not mean the material wealth that is just a part of it but rather the intangible kind. That which can neither be duplicated nor bought. Wondering what that is? Well, a positive legacy can simply be kind acts: acts that have a great impact on humanity. Take an example of Mahatma Gandhi, he died over seventy years ago but yet never forgotten. Personally whenever I come across his quotes am always in awe, for it takes great wisdom, patience, compassion, and resilience to lead a life as he did. The greatest part of it all, his life lessons are timeless. I want to have that. I wish to exploit and explore all that is within me to be the best version of self and share that with the world one person at a time. I wish for when I am long gone the few people who know me will always recall something positive about me and how that improved their life.




I read a lot, I find it therapeutic. However, if that's not your cup of tea one can always explore listening to audiobooks. My most recent read is a book titled  30 days-Change your habits, change your life by Marc Reklau  I loved. It had a few pages but so many indispensable lessons that are both effortless and pragmatic. I recommend it to everyone who is on a journey of self-improvement. Such a genre of books is allowing me to slowly learn on simple ways of self-improvement as I seek to explore developing practices that will one day result in the generation of a positive legacy. Some of the most basic lessons so far are:
NB: In no particular order

1. Be the protagonist.
 Own your life and all it encompasses: the decisions, the thoughts, the deeds. This will ensure you take responsibility for your actions and it may then prompt you to live a purposeful life. In the words of Marie Forleo " There has never been and never will be another you. You have a purpose - a very special gift that only you can bring to the world."

2. Invest in yourself
You never know what lies within you if you do not allow yourself to grow. Get yourself into activities that are enriching to your mind and soul. I came across an anonymous quote that stated: "If you want to invest in something with minimum risk and guaranteed returns invest in yourself." Attempt to learn something new daily: It may be a word, skill, habit, giving etc just do something for you.

3. Know yourself
With globalization comes exposure to different cultures hence increased opportunities to learn some very interesting facts. For instance, among the eastern religions, there is one referred to as Taoism. Among its founders is Mr. Lao Tzu. He was a great philosopher and writer who emphasized on the need to conduct an extensive soul searching while being open to acquire new knowledge. One of my favorites quotes of him is “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” Makes you think, right?

Learning about oneself is a process that can be quite intimidating and yet quite enlightening. I am still learning on how to know myself and anyone who has more great resources please share I open to it.

4. Regrets! No! Call them lessons
One of my many favorite life lessons comes from Col.Saunders the founder of KFC maybe its cause I love food, not sure. He is a solid reflection of how we can turn our many failures into opportunities to grow. From him, I have learned that

• Learning doesn't occur when we always succeed on the first try
• A positive attitude is everything.
• There is no age limit to building a positive legacy.
• Never give up no matter what

At the end of the day it is important to understand that " In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." Abraham Lincoln.