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We finally have come to the end of 2019. How has your year been?  What have you gained or lost from it? My year has been quite interesting. If you have been following my blogposts am sure you have realized it by now. ( Right!) Looking back at the 52 weeks I am filled with mixed emotions at some point along the way I really wanted the year to just come to an to end. However, on one of my rant sessions, I had a long discussion with a friend who left me with a total paradigm shift on my approach to things. Thank you to this individual for my life has just been getting better since then.

I have  gained alot and lost so much in 2019 which I choose to believe has helped mold me into a being a better human being. Roy Bennett once said that “When things do not go your way, remember that every challenge and every adversity contains within it the seeds of opportunity and growth.” As we celebrate the opportunity to begin afresh here is a brief look at what I am choosing to take into 2020.

1. Love and genuine happiness above all else



Ever realized how this two emotions have a great impact on your persona. I have had friends die young but they had led full lives. I have also met people who have lived to an advanced age but had so many regrets on their death beds. Often its because they got hurt along the way and became closed off to showing love to others and chose to hold on to anger, the bitterness, and hurt. I choose to leave all my ugly experiences in 2019 and embrace love and happiness for I am a lover and nothing gives me greater satisfaction than being me.

2. Being consistent


I am destined for greatness and the only way I will achieve all my goals is to keep at it despite all hardships met along the way. I am learning to always look at the bigger picture and not just take things at face value. There is a lot more to be learned from every opportunity, circumstance or eventuality.

3. Growth


 I choose to say no to mediocrity. I chose to continue growing for I have only this life to live and I can only get better. I choose to face challenges as an opportunity to identify my potential and I choose to grow with those around me.

4. Peace of mind and heart

As I begin this new decade I am taking with me calmness. I choose to intentionally keep away from people and activities that are energy drainers for I want to use that extra oomph to enhance my life.

What are you taking into the new decade? As I continue making plans for this new year may all your dreams comes true as you continue working on them remember;

FRIENDS

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”
Albert Schweitzer

Do you ever feel like what is happening in your life is not enough? This year despite my small wins I was feeling quite inadequate. I had a couple of moments of great self-doubt. I must say I'm happy about my support system, for despite at times lashing out to some of them and seemingly being withdrawn they stayed with me through it all. They kept encouraging me and giving a shoulder to lean on whenever I needed it and for that, I'm really grateful.

How often do you celebrate your true friends? These are the friends who are with you at your worst moments and will still be there at your best. Those friends whom you can always count on. Whatever time it is they will lend you a listening ear. Those friends whom you do not communicate daily but when you do, it is so seamless, it appears to be a continuation of a previous conversation.




I am proud to say that I have been fortunate enough to have this and until recently I had never really appreciated how much of a blessing it is. As I continue with the process of self-introspection I continue to learn that blessings come in many forms and not just materially. It can be as simple as good friends, a close family unit, an unwavering support system to pursue one's goals no matter how wild they sound, good health, employment opportunities, etc. When in doubt of this remember this beautiful quote “We need much less than we think we need.”Maya Angelou



What lessons have you derived from your 2019 friendships? I have a lot of them but here is a brief list

1. It is important to just be nice

This year a friend of mine gifted me with something I will forever cherish. It was actually her birthday but being the kind soul that she is, she decided to be the bearer of the gifts rather than the receiver of the same. To say I was flabbergasted would be an understatement. I learned a great lesson through that simple gesture. I learned that, you need no reason to be nice and when I tried it, it was so fulfilling and for the first time, I felt contented. Try performing a random act of kindness then assess how you feel.

2. Sometimes all one needs is a hug


I have a hug buddy ( is that even a word). Anyway, whenever we have our terrible moments we just hug it out for a couple moments and almost always we tend to feel much better thereafter. By now you might be wondering WTH  right! but do you know this small act by itself taught me something? It has taught me that sometimes it is important to take a moment and accept you ain't within a proper headspace and you need to take a moment. Take a moment to catch your breath, process the situation and then get a way forward.

3. Friendships can develop at  any point in time


With so many things going on in our lives, at times we may forget to take care of ourselves. It has been quite an interesting year for me. Fancy this, some of the friendships I formed this year were formed over the planning of a random trip.We literally found ourselves in a room discussing how it would be nice to have a getaway and within ten minutes we had planned on where we should go. Point of note prior to this interaction some of us had never really gone past saying hi to each other. I'm happy to state that now we are basically inseparable.



I would really love to hear of the unique lessons you may have all gotten  so please share and also keep in mind that,

DIVERSITY

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Derek Bok.

Earlier today I was in a public service vehicle heading home, suddenly, I heard the driver making fun of a guy crossing the road. The guy was of very short stature than most, may have been at most 3 feet and something which in essence is an extreme case of a condition termed as Dwarfism. I'm sure you may recall hearing of this word before. Maybe in a Biology genetic class? Or from a movie? However, if you are hearing it from the first time here's a piece of brief information about it.

Dwarfism is a condition characterized by short stature of four feet or less.. It's broadly categorized into two ie proportionate and disproportionate dwarfism. The most common causes are related to genetics ie chromosomal abnormalities. Other causes may be due to hormonal inadequacies and at times the cause isn't very clear. I will not bother you with too many details but in your own time, you can read about it. If you are not in the medical field kindly follow the link https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/dwarfism.html. It is a reputable site with information that one can easily comprehend. I am sure you will thank me later.



So back to the driver, let us call him Mr X. His actions got me thinking; Are we aware of our actions towards other people? Is it a case of superiority complex that we treat others like lesser human beings for being different? Do we ever take the time to actually think through the words in our mind before we utter them? What do these words communicate about ourselves? Once we truly understand this, it then shall form a basis for all our humane activities for humanity is not just about people collectively, but it is about understanding the kind actions towards other people.


Day in day out we interact with people from all walks of life which is a very interesting phenomenon. Not so long ago diversity was a thing we often used to hear of and not really visualize. (At this point I am hoping my generation is not just restricted to Millenials). Diversity may be in the form of different religions, races, levels of economic empowerment, sexual orientation etc. With so many things being different around us, it, therefore, generates a need for us to be conscious of our words and actions towards each other.



Over 60years ago an American psychologist by the name Abraham Maslow stated that, for an individual to grow, some needs have to be met. He then generated a five-tier need pyramid and among them was love and belonging. In love and belonging tier, he deduced that for one to attain it one must feel like they belong. A lot more data has been generated by different psychologists and they all point towards the same conclusion "how we treat each other is of great importance."

How then can we improve ourselves so as to make coexistence easier despite our differences?


1. Desire to change the narrative

For us to be more tolerant of each other's differences, we first must be willing to recognize that first, we are different,  then secondly, be willing to put in the work for peaceful coexistence.


2..Nature versus nurture

To elucidate nature are our inherent behaviours while nurture are learned behaviours. For any individual who is in a position to influence change on a younger person should keep this theory in mind. Kindly follow the link for more information https://www.simplypsychology.org/naturevsnurture.html

3. Guard your mouth

Not every word that is thought should be said. A prolific Ghanaian author called Ernest Yeboah once said "We fail to say the right words because we choose to say the wrong words! We choose to say the wrong words because we fail to think about the right words!”
Always ask yourself, " Is what I am about to say enriching to this conversation or not" because most times we are so quick to speak when exploring issues from a very ignorant perspective.

4. Educate yourself

Take the time to understand things first. Study extensively different things so as not to propagate false ideologies and concepts. I'm vexed every time one makes jokes or comments on people derive their pleasure in growing long beards. Personally, I find ignorant when people make Jihhadist jokes. Despite the recipient laughing it off most times. It is a very offensive thing to say no matter how lightly we take it. Please watch the following video for more information on how to avoid selective religious bias https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EF5BHcOcNJA . Educate yourself on simple practices among different cultures for instance like which hand to use during communal meals because in some use of the left hand is considered offensive.

5. We are all equal


No matter where we come from, blood flows in our veins. Being different doesn't make one more valuable than the other. The moment we believe we are, then we forget that we survive by chance for tomorrow is never guaranteed.

In conclusion, “Let us know our differences! Let us understand our differences! Let us know and understand that we are all different people with different differences! We all have different differences that are not all that different! Understanding is the matter! When we get to know and understand our differences well, we shall least spit on each other just because of our differences!”
 Ernest Agyemang Yeboah