GONE WITH THE WIND

At some point in time some of us desire to have a family. However, the desire for it and its fulfillment does not always go as planned. Within our setup, some things are never really spoken off. One of such things is foetal death. What is it? Grunebaum and Chervenak (2018), defines fetal death as "death before the complete expulsion or extraction from the mother of a product of human conception, irrespective of the duration of pregnancy, that is not an induced termination."

 According to the World Health Organization factsheet, in 2015 there were 2.6 million stillbirths globally, and more than 7178 deaths a day. In Kenya, such data is very scarce because this women are a forgotten demographic and yet they continue contributing to the number of people suffering from some form of mental illness. This is important because as highlighted in my previous post any form of loss has a direct relationship with our health continuum

A few months ago I had a candid discussion with a lady who was in her fifth pregnancy and yet no living child. It was a conversation we both needed to have and am glad we did. She had many enlightening points and today I choose to highlight them as we continue making ourselves aware of better ways to maintain our mental wellness and the wellness of those around us.

1. Seek counsel before conception 

Fertility is never guaranteed. If you are lucky and have a committed partner during the process seek counseling together. Once a great foundation is set it provides a good backdrop for handling any eventualities.


2. Every action has a consequence.

We are often told that the choices of our youth tend to affect our future but often this is never expounded. Did you know some of our current practices may affect our fertility? For instance, do you know that by using the emergency pill for purposes other than those primarily intended leads to hormonal imbalances that may contribute to fetal loss? Avoid unwanted pregnancies through seeking proper guidance on use of different contraception. Backstreet pregnancy termination may lead to infections that cause damage to the reproductive system leading to fetal loss at different gestations.

3. Support groups 



Its time to openly have discussions on fetal loss and how it affects one's psyche and subsequent pregnancy experiences. Support groups tend to offer a space for these discussions. Involve psychologists to be part of the teams as they are more competent in handling all the questions or emotions that arise.

4. Keep hope

 Martin LutherKing Jr once said we must accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope. Aim to maintain a circle of friends who will keep you moving when you are experiencing a dark event. Always try and remember why you began it all in the first place.

Next time you are with an expectant lady/couple celebrate with them or mourn with them in case it doesn't pan out. However, never judge, but rather empathize, at that moment, you never know what people are experiencing.

 To anyone going through a dark phase remember;