THE FORGOTTEN GENDER

From the top of your head, try writing down a list of five organizations that provide support for men, difficult right! Now list down five organizations that support the female gender. You will find the latter being easier and this is not okay. The female gender has come a long way but is it at the expense of our brothers? In a previous post titled "hidden in plain sight"(https://lilylovelong.blogspot.com/2019/11/hidden-in-plain-sight.html), I highlighted how mental illness is becoming a global epidemic.
In Kenya, for instance, most suicides occurring are often related to the male gender. For more information follow the following link https://aphrc.org/blogarticle/world-mental-health-day-suicide-in-kenya/. Have you also noticed the rise in numbers of people committing murder, this should be a great cause for alarm.  For me it is and here is why.




It is an indicator of poor mental health

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), defines depression as the feeling of being sad, empty, and hopeless consistently for a duration of two weeks and more. This means that it affects the ability to handle all activities of daily living. In men, it often manifests as aggressiveness, loss of interest in family/work, poor sexual desire/performance, sudden urge to indulge in high-risk activities, physical aches, withdrawal from family and friends, need for alcohol or drugs, etc. Please note that men suffering from depression may manifest either one symptom or many symptoms as every individual is different.

The world health organization has identified that prevention programs primarily encouraging positive thinking are a great way to reduce depression. In addition to this, interventionists should be involved in any individual with any behavioral problem.

As a society we need to make specific changes if we want to see a change in the above.
We can achieve this through:

1. Encouraging positive masculinity

By law of socialization and naturalization, we know of masculinity as attributes, behaviors, and roles regarded as characteristics of being male such as virility, vigor, strength, toughness, independence, assertiveness, courage, etc. Recently, we have seen the traits morph which is both positive and negative and therefore we should only propagate the healthy ones. Chauvinism, for example, should be greatly discouraged.

2. Stopping toxic feminism

Feminism is the belief that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men. Hence men too can be feminists if they believe this. As good as this is, it has brought with it a group of toxic feminists who believe that women should always be higher up than men. This is evidenced by them often supporting physical or verbal abuse towards the other gender. I'm sure you have witnessed this in a variety of ways especially on social media platforms.

3. Openly appreciate the men that do good

 We need to change this narrative. Just because one has had some horrendous experience/experiences by a particular gender doesn't mean that all who ascribe to the same gender bare the same traits. We have some really good men out there. We should talk about them often, be ready to create forums that appreciate men who are making positive change within the society, in this way it will give the younger generation of boys/ men exposure to positive figures they can emulate.

4.  Developing support systems

  Being that in our culture opening up is still taboo among men we can start small like within our homes. Build a culture of discussing day events before having meals or at a time convenient to you as a family. I for one am trying to have my male friends and family members feel comfortable enough around me to open up when an issue is bugging them. Most times one is very tempted to give their two cents but that is not what they are looking for. I am learning that they just wish for a listening ear, zero judgment and patience.

A lot can be said, but all in all, we need to remember that, for us to see change occurring "we ourselves need to be the change we want to see." Mahatma Gandhi.