HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT

Most of us are experiencing some really dark thoughts, have experienced dark thoughts or will experience dark thoughts at some point. Personally, I have been through it and it is the most traumatizing feeling ever. This is often because you are not sure how to address it and one wonders how people around them will perceive you once you open up. I genuinely have never spoken about it to my family or my best friends except for one but I know one day I shall finally be able to fully address it. However, with the rising number of people committing suicide, self-harm and higher numbers of individuals suffering from mental illness, it is time to have some very candid conversations. Sorry for the gloom and doom but we need to be blunt. This year alone my dad has lost three of his friends to suicide, all men, they were within the 50- 60 year age bracket, they were doing well economically and they seemed to be essentially happy as per our own perception.

Data from WHO states that " close to 800 000 people die due to suicide every year, which translates to one person every 40 seconds. In addition, they have finally identified it as is a global phenomenon and that it occurs throughout the lifespan and this should make us worry."

 How many people have you personally interacted with that have committed suicide? Or rather has anyone committed suicide within the past five years that you were familiar with? I can almost guess that the majority of you will answer that in the affirmative So with such big figures how then can we be of help? Below is a simple list of how we can make it easier on people as we can never be too sure of where one's mindset is at.

1. Do not be a bully

Bullying is the act of intimidating or coercing an individual who is deemed as vulnerable. The vulnerability may be due to their physical appearance, level of intelligence quotient, family background, economic empowerment etc. Bullying comes in many forms which can be broadly categorized as

• physical- causing physical injury
• verbal-  insults, teasing, racist remarks etc
• cyber - using digital platforms to cause emotional harm
• social - aims to humiliate an individual through harming their social reputation

We should aim to stop tolerating subtle acts that fall in any of these categories since by doing so they quickly escalate to levels affecting the targeted individual's well being.

2. Check up on your friends

When was the last time you called or texted someone to find out if they are okay? Not the courtesy calls but genuinely checked on someone. Ever made a phone call to just listen to someone's tone of voice or set aside time to spend with your loved one so as to have conversations while looking into their eyes to see if they are well. As William Shakespeare once said, "the eyes are the windows to the soul." Make a point of doing so and you will quickly learn that people are not doing as well as you think.

3. Have realistic expectations of the people around you.

 Stop comparing people's journies everyone is on their own distinct path. It is okay to not have achieved all one would have wished for by a setting age, stop making people feel like they should settle for less or have to keep explaining themselves. Allow people to live their lives. 

4.  Allow people to speak up when not okay

You know what, it is very okay not to feel okay, and we need to be okay with people expressing it. It takes a lot of strength for someone to admit it. Do not be quick to judge people when they bring it up. Practice empathy more and your eyes will finally be opened wide enough to see the unseen and your ears will finally listen to what often goes unsaid.

In conclusion, remember,